Ideologism – The unconscious belief that our beliefs will “save” us.

I think there is a link between ideologism, and both self-repression and oppression of others.  To initiate violence in any way to ourselves or others, we need to have a reason, a very good reason.  People in general are not comfortable with hurting themselves or others; to get people to do unnatural, harmful acts, we need to convince them there is a very good reason, usually wrapped up in a moralism or a should.  Without such moralistic behavior and dogma, you couldn’t get people to go off to war and kill strangers.  Or harm members of our own families.

So how do we get rid of repression, oppression and violence?  By cultivating our own personal power and integrity.  When we cultivate our integrity we are developing our capacity to make choices for ourselves with reference to others.  We are paying attention to ourselves and others…paying attention to people, not ideas.  This enables us to perceive ourselves and make distinctions and discernments.  It also builds trust which is an antidote to fear.  So empowered people of high integrity are far less likely to fall under the sway of any type of ideology.

An ideology is really a system of belief that proposes that experiences and phenomena can be reduced simplistically and that system of beliefs can be substituted for discernment and choice.  Ideologies promulgate solutions that are required for a moral response.  Ideologies are based on shoulds, of how the world should be, of how we should act.

It doesn’t matter much to me where the ideologies lie on the political spectrum.  Any ideology, a system of belief that substitutes ideas for individual consciousness, is a barrier in the way of the development of an empowered, compassionate person.  This is not to say there should be no rules or boundaries but that we not lose sight of the purpose of the rules and boundaries…to serve people, the planet and other beings, and not to maintain an ideology.

Tuning in to Big Desire

One of the hallmarks of consciousness is becoming aware of our desires and how they influence us, our lives and those close to us.  Moving from unconscious reaction, unconscious repression, through unconscious rebellion to conscious response require that we do more than simply follow every desire that beckons us.

When people are in a state of rebellion, they are very protective of their little desires while ignorant of their larger desires.  They tend to merely follow their desire in the moment, without adequately considering how their momentary desire may be the result of conditioning and experiences that they are only dimly aware of.  How can we distinguish a true desire from a default pattern or a conditioned reaction?

It’s been helpful to me to tune in to my larger desires.  When I’m aware of my larger desires, or “Big Desire” as I like to call it, I can see how little desires may not serve this larger purpose.  An easy example is food:  Often I may be tempted by the smell or sight of some food yet I refrain from eating it.  I pause long enough to tune in….is this a true desire or a reaction conditioned by stimulation?

Going slow, breathing deeply and being calm in the present moment gives me a much greater degree of control over how I respond to various forms of stimulation.  It’s important to distinguish this from repression.  When in repression I’m full of judgment and anxiety and fear.  When I’m in the mode of conscious response, I voluntarily choose not to pursue a desire without having to restrain or repress myself.  I simply tune into my larger desire.

Often I am tempted by food late at night.  If I’m alone and particularly if I’m not satisfied with some aspect of my life, I may seek solace in food.  Especially rich, creamy foods that are reminiscent of nurturing mother’s milk.  Fat soothes and dulls the mind and calms the nervous system.  At night, if I’m aware enough, I may realize that my desire to eat is not from physical hunger but from non-material needs not being met.

Eating is one of the most basic ways we meet our needs for survival.  It’s hardwired into our systems.  The base or reptilian mind thinks: If you need something, go look for something to eat to put it in your body.  It’s interesting to me that reptiles must continue to grow or they die.  In people, our growth is non-material after we leave childhood.  Our growth is in awareness, in consciousness, in our capacity to see and give to others.

When our natural desires are stifled at a young age, we learn to repress and our desires manifest as perversions.  Whether the perversion is one of sexual nature such as a child molestor or a Wall Street criminal, the natural desires for love, connection, nurturing and sex have been perverted into something else.  Why would someone who has $50 million ruin their lives or others to make more?  Simply put, these people are mentally ill or more accurately, emotionally ill, as they do things they unconsciously believe will fulfill their desires.

Politicians are good examples of this.  They lie, cheat and steal their way to the top.  For what? To satisfy their desire for love and acceptance?  To win a popularity contest one must have a strong desire to be popular and be accepted.  Most politicians don’t accept themselves and thus seek external validation.  Of course, the tragedy for them is that politicians on the whole are roundly despised.

So how can you avoid their fate and the fate of others who sacrifice their real needs and their big desires such as love, acceptance and connection for fleeting pleasures?  First, I think it’s important to honor and love the inner teenager.  Many books have been written about the inner child and the need to be in touch with our innocent, magical selves.

We also need to be in touch with our inner teenager, the part of us that wants to rebel, to assert our will, to play different roles, to be totally free and unencumbered by responsibility or consideration for others.  This is a natural stage in life and the more it is repressed the longer it lasts.

Adults who were repressed and did not sow their wild oats are strongly re-stimulated by those who sow their wild oats and who follow their desires.  If you are a parent, and you witness your child doing something dangerous, can you protect them without judging them?  Can you give your experience and wisdom in a way that is received? Or is your strategy of control an indication of your own repression?  Are you able to set boundaries with love?

When you are in tune with Big Desire, you can love someone no matter what they do.  You are not distracted by what they do, you see who they are.  When you are in tune with Big Desire, you can freely give of yourself without feeling a sacrifice.  When you are in tune with Big Desire you can do what someone else wants with the joy of giving and without resentment.  When you are in tune with Big Desire, you can choose to sacrifice without compensation.

But it cannot be faked.  When we pretend to be more selfless than we are, we don’t satisfy ourselves or others.  The simple truth is, you must go through a stage of following your desires before you can tune into Big Desire.  The more you can follow your desires without shame, judgment or repression, the sooner you can move into the state of Big Desire.  When you move into that space of Big Desire, you may know it by another name:  Love.

Each time i give a session to someone for the first time it’s an opportunity to reflect on what my intentions are for this work.  The more i set an intention of healing and presence, the more i am in a calm, loving energetic state.  I used to have a hard time fully owning my role as healer, especially doing conscious sensuality work.  It was as if my desire for connection, for sensation and healing somehow negated my value as a healer, as a giving person.  Now that i am comfortable in this role, now that i own and value my desire….i can see how my desire is a potent force that empowers me AND helps others to become more aware and empowered.  i trust myself to set my boundaries and to fulfill my vision of personal integrity.  When i receive the feedback on my work, i am in gratitude that i am living this life and that i have had the courage to create and follow this amazing path!

Almost every day i talk to people about conscious sensuality.  I find that people are very interested and receptive to new ideas about sex, love, relationships, and communication.  One on one, people are usually more open, and share their visions, their desires and their wounds in a more open way.  I’ve also noticed that many people are not as comfortable revealing themselves in a group, preferring to have more intimate conversations that group revelations.  While i support people in sharing in a way that works for them, i encourage people to share more within a group context.  This is very empowering and it is useful to practice speaking our truth to a group, rather than just one person.  It helps us to focus on what we are saying in a more conscious way.  It also is harder for us to build up our story and cling to patterns that don’t serve us when we reveal ourselves to the group.